Hong Kong awakened this year (Lee Yee)
2019 was an important and meaningful year for Hong Kong; it was also the most important year in my life.
2019 will go down in history. This year, Hong Kong awakened. The awakening was a milestone in a history of 200 years. It was somewhat sudden but not coincidental. It was the awakening of Hong Kong people and it would pass along generations. It would be a path of no return. There would be no looking back.
At the end of March this year, I announced in this column that I would stop writing news commentaries,but bring out a memoir of my life in the days to come.
My life experience are insignificant. Nevertheless, fortunately or unfortunately, I have been living in an era that China, Taiwan and Hong Kong have undergone significant changes. I have been in the highly sensitive media industry, which observes, reports and comments on changes in these three places. I have witnessed the sinking of Hong Kong media, which used to be able to observe and comment on current affairs and politics with much greater freedom than its counterparts in China and Taiwan. The credibility of Hong Kong media has been on the decline because of self-censorship and political correctness in the face of pressure from advertising and on editorials. I have seen how the advocacy of “Hong Kong today, Taiwan tomorrow” has become a statement of caution and suspicion for Taiwan people. In this era of change, my social role, my background, my work, my family and my struggles at crossroads in life are rather unique. I want to leave some enduring marks in my remaining years.
I said this would be my last wish at the age of 83.
But rather unexpectedly, from April onwards, I have been much impacted by the anti-extradition bill protest and no longer had the mood to reminisce about the past. I have been so concerned with everyday happenings that I cannot refrain from writing my feelings and comments on the current situation, and re-examining my ideas in view of the changes in the political scene. I have awakened in many aspects. I have let go of my last wish because I thought that my life experiences were no longer important even for myself.
Lu Xun said: Undoubtedly, I often scrutinize other people but more often, I engage in introspection ruthlessly.” I have also done a lot of soul searching throughout my life and have awakened at different levels, from awakening to socialism and the Communist Party to awakening to patriotism and China. Such awakenings run through my writings. At the age of 80, I had supposed that my ideas and my understanding of the Hong Kong society would not waver. However, the anti-extradition bill protest shook me up totally.
Some months ago, a young writer Lewis Loud asked me in an interview whether I felt running out of time. I guessed he was referring to my memoir. I told him, “Yes, but I will just go with the flow. I have wanted to write a memoir but now I think it’s OK if that cannot be accomplished”. Although we have to be rational in writing politics, men are emotional beings. Our lives, our decisions and our choices are dictated by emotions, not reasons. I find it hard to leave Hong Kong behind because of my emotions; I put aside my memoir also because of my emotions. Things happen right under our very eyes, we are propelled into actions by our emotions. We can resist many things in life but we cannot resist our emotions.
Life is full of uncertainties and so I will cherish every moment and seize the day. To worry that one’s days are numbered, or to think that many are the years to come is equally futile.
A young friend who read the interview suggested that I write my feelings of last year in the first chapter of my memoir and look back at my life from there.
What a good idea! If it is to written, it is going to be an important chapter, a chapter of final awakening. All the elements of this chapter, which were in the commentaries I wrote in 2019, are included in this book. (Preface:Hong Kong awakened – 2019, a milestone in history)
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▌愛的自由黨 party of love and liberty ▌
:晨間新聞(重聽連結)
歌單—
林憶蓮/不還你
蔡健雅/晨間新聞
陶喆/天天
Tyler Burkhart/Just How I Love You
The Saxophones/New Tradition
Current Joys/In a year of 13 Moons
Gillian Oaks/Sinking and floating
Michate/Big city blues
Arcade Fire; “her”OST/Song on the beach
Brian Jonestown Massacre/David Bowie I Love You Since I was Six
來吧焙焙/變化
蘇打綠/你在煩惱什麼
岑寧兒/Glow
There's a fire in your eyes
I see it all sometimes
In the darkness of the night
I see it many times
Yes I'm sure it shines in you
It's the brightness in your eyes
I see it all tonight
In the darkness of my light
Shining on the chosen few
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There seem to be so many friends of mine and Brian that have either recently had babies, are soon to have babies, or will probably be expecting babies in the future. This is my plea to you:
There will be times your child will scream and cry any time you try to put him or her down. Or they'll cry even as they're in your arms and you've done everything you can possibly think of to get them to stop. There will be sleepless nights, multiple diaper changes in a matter of minutes, spit up in your hair, pee on your shirt, and poop in your hands, and again - so much screaming from the baby, and probably from you as well. Every time that happens, every time you feel frustrated and want to run away, please remember my story:
My sweet, sweet Eleanor Josephine was born sleeping September 11th. I went to bed the night of the 10th, and she was kicking away. I woke up, and she wasn't. I couldn't find the heartbeat on the home doppler. I knew. I just knew. I didn't want to know...I wanted to be mistaken, but I knew.
We went to Labor and Delivery immediately, praying the whole way there. They tried the doppler - nothing. Before they put the ultrasound wand on me, they ran the heartbeat monitor over my belly - nothing. My heart was sinking fast, and I remember thinking "This can't be happening...this is just a dream...this can't be happening...They'll find something on the ultrasound...just *something*." But these were feeble hopes, because again, I knew. I could tell they knew, too, but no one said anything until Brian (who was parking the car) got there. I could tell they were delaying, "Oh, the ultrasound machine sometimes takes a while to boot up." "I think there's something wrong with the wand...." Finally, Brian was there, they did the ultrasound, and there was silence as they all exchanged nervous glances. Finally one of them matter-of-factly said, "Hi Natalie, I'm Doctor ______ (I don't remember her name, but you don't want to know what I call her in my head). I'm sorry...there's nothing there." I keep having flashbacks to that moment. It's a crippling, all-consuming feeling of utter suffocation, and a memory that will haunt me for the rest of my life. In that moment, I felt trapped as if the ceiling was literally crashing down on top of me. I couldn't breathe, I lashed out, I screamed, I threw things, I threw up...and then a piece of me died with her. I was helpless to change anything. My body was supposed to keep her safe, and instead it killed her. I was 40 weeks and 6 days pregnant.
A couple of hours later, I was induced. They offered me an epidural, but I couldn't do it. I needed to own it. I needed the pain, the agony, and misery to mirror what I felt in my heart. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. Ever. Dealing with the unbearable contractions, the ring of fire, the tearing...knowing that all of it was for nothing. I was delivering a lifeless child. There would be no happiness at the end of it to help me forget the pain. The pain, unlike my baby girl, would live on forever.
Then finally, after those hellish few hours of labor, she was placed on my chest - gorgeous, but lifeless. There was no reason to expect that first little cry from her. Instead, it was me who sobbed. I begged her through my tears to wake up: "Please wake up, baby girl...please, wake up. Why won't you cry for mommy? Please, please, please....just wake up."
She was beautiful. She was perfect in every way. I love her so much, and the devastation I felt, and still feel, cannot even begin to be described. We got to spend 6 hours with her. We took hundreds of photos. A photographer from "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep" came by and took even more. I bathed her, I brushed her hair, I held her, kissed her, and told her how much I loved her. And I apologized over and over again for failing her. Oh, how I failed my beautiful baby girl.
They offered to allow us to say the night, but I couldn't stay there any longer. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving my daughter, either, but I knew I was just prolonging the inevitable. As time went on, she was looking less and less like the flawless child that I brought into this world. I couldn't keep watching her deteriorate in my arms. I knew she couldn't feel any pain, but I was feeling it for her, and I had reached my breaking point. I wanted to die with her.
Around 11:30pm, we said our final goodbyes. As I stood over her and spent those last few minutes with her, blood was cascading down my legs and onto the floor. I didn't care - my womb was crying. Everything about me was crying. Watching them wheel her away broke me. My life ended then and there. They wheeled me out of the hospital and I screamed and sobbed the entire way.
Monday was the funeral, and we had to go through the whole thing again. Seeing her one last time (my legs gave out from under me at first sight), singing to her, touching her cold, lifeless face, telling her how much we loved her, and me, apologizing over and over again for not being able to protect her. It was a small, intimate ceremony - 9 people total. Immediate family only. We all took turns blessing her. And once again, we said our goodbyes.
Everyone gave my husband and I one last moment with her, just the three of us. And when we were done, he and I walked arm in arm down the aisle, as our family held the doors open for us as the end of the room. I flashed back to our wedding day as we walked down the aisle as husband and wife and the doors were held open for us. The memory was such a cruel juxtaposition to the current reality. Our wedding march was joyous. This was a nightmare, this was morbid, this was wrong. Everything about it was wrong. I can still see that tiny box draped in a white cloth that held her tiny body. I had to leave her there in that cold, empty room; all alone all over again. It's a nightmare that just won't end.
I say all that to say this: my womb, my heart, and my arms are empty. There are going to be so many of you who have babies who are going to cry every time you try to put him or her down. Or they'll cry for no reason even if you're holding them and you've fed them, burped them, changed them...everything. And inevitably you're going to cry too, because you will feel so helpless and so frustrated and so clueless, and you'll want to scream, "Why won't you stop crying?!" You're going to be exhausted and angry and fed up and all you're going to want in this world is just a little time to yourself so you can sleep or shower or or eat whatever. I know, because I've been there with my son. But I will never be there with my daughter. And I would give anything to suffer as only a mother (or father) can in those dark moments of parenthood with her, my dear Eleanor.
So please just remember, while you're awake at 3am because you have a baby in your arms keeping you up that late, I'm up at 3am because I don't. And I would give anything in this world to have a baby spitting up on me, being colicky for all hours of the day and night, screaming, not letting me put her down, cracking my nipples from breastfeeding, keeping me up all night. Instead, I still have a stitched nether region, painfully engorged breasts no baby will suckle from, a flabby stomach, an empty womb, and blood that will continue to pour out of me for who knows how many more weeks. As if her death and birth wasn't traumatic enough, I still have to live with the physical effects all these many days later.
All I ask of you is when you have your dark moments with your baby - when you're at your wits' end and feel like you can't go on anymore when you're only getting an hour or two of sleep a night - instead of begging your child to go to sleep and being swallowed up in your frustration and exhaustion, find the tiniest bit of strength within you to keep going, and say a prayer of gratitude for your child, as difficult as it may be in that moment. And if you would, say a prayer for me and all the mothers whose children were taken from them too soon. Say a prayer for my sweet, sweet Eleanor who never got to know life outside my womb.
Please. Do it for Eleanor. And do it for her mommy who loves her and misses her beyond measure.
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————————————————————————————————————————
[THESE EVENTS WILL HAPPEN IN ASIA BEFORE 2050]
So far on this channel, we’ve only ever talked about current or past events.
Well not anymore, because this video is about the future. We’ll be covering the major events that will happen in Asia leading up to the year 2050. Of course, predicting such events is extremely difficult, but we can always give our best estimates based the information we currently have.
We will cover the following:
- Pyeongchang Winter Olympics 2018
- JAXA's Mercury mission
- Japanese Emperor Akihito's abdication
- Saudi Arabia's Jeddah Tower (tallest building in the world)
- Transcontinental bridge from Middle East to Africa (Yemen to Djibouti / Saudi Arabia to Egypt) - the Bridge of Horns
- Holographic TVs
- Tokyo Summer Olympics 2020
- UAE's Hope Probe to Mars + First city on Mars
- Beijing Winter Olympics 2022
- Rising sea levels affect Maldives (global warming)
- China's large particle accelerator (twice the circumference of the Large Hadron Collider at CERN)
- Southeast Asia unified by transport links (Sunda Strait Bridge & Malacca Strait Bridge)
- Bangkok, Thailand is sinking
- Borneo's rainforests will be wiped out at current rate of deforestation
- Russia will become a global food superpower (melting permafrost and retreating ice caps opening up North Asia & Siberia for arable land (farming & crop production)
- Japan connected to the mainland & Russia with Sakhalin-Hokkaido Tunnel
- China's first astronauts on the moon
- India's economic rise
- Japan connected to mainland & South Korea with Japan-Korea Tunnel
- Major volcanic eruption of Sakurajima
- Decline in homosexual discrimination particularly Middle East
- 100th anniversary of the atomic bombings of Hiroshima & Nagasaki
- Japan's population drops below 100 million due to low birth rate
- Pakistan and India celebrate 100th anniversary of independence
- One Country Two Systems agreement for Hong Kong & Macau expires
- North Korea celebrates 100th anniversary of founding
- Dead Sea drying up
- Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Disaster will be successfully decommissioned
- Biggest refugee crisis in history in Southeast Asia
- Robots will be commonplace
- Asia connected to the world via Bering Strait Bridge & Transglobal Highway
sinking current 在 current sourcing, current sinking - Electrical Engineering Stack ... 的推薦與評價
Those devices that are good connecting to ground are called current sinks; those good at connecting to Vcc are called current sources. Until recently (the last ... ... <看更多>
sinking current 在 [問題] current source和current sink的差別? - 看板Electronics 的推薦與評價
請教一個問題
最近在讀類比電路一直遇到current source和current sink兩個名詞.
其中current source把電流輸入到負載元件驅動,
這一點比較好理解;
但current sink本身是一種接收電流輸入的設計,
不知道該如何解釋current sink驅動負載元件的物理意義?
我目前的想法是:
current source像是水柱由上而下把東西沖走,
current sink像是一個漩渦把負載元件吸引下去,
不知道這樣的比喻是否恰當?
希望有這方面相關經驗的前輩不吝告知
感謝!!
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